In the last months I went through the most exciting time of my life. I moved to Bali for four months without knowing anyone. I meditated for three weeks many hours per day, then found my dream home and decided to open a restaurant in Ubud (Bali) with close friends, leading to a new way of splitting my life between Bali and Berlin in the future.
As you can imagine, during this process I was confronted with a lot of self-doubts and anxious thoughts.
As I know this to be something we all struggle with, I would like to share some thoughts today on what to do in moments of big uncertainty, self-doubts and worries.
My thoughts on self-worth
1) It is absolutely normal to have doubts, to lack self worth, to be anxious and fearful about things. Even the most successful people on this planet struggle with it. We are not alone with those often difficult emotions. We are human part of the human experience is “negative” emotions, struggle and suffering.
2) I once went to a psychologist after a bad break-up telling him that I don’t have self-worth. He smiled and said: “We all have it, it’s just that for many of us it’s clouded.” He then advised me to meditate, which back then (2015) I thought was ridiculous. Today I know that meditation was the biggest game changer.
3) For me, it’s not about building self-worth, but about removing the obstacles that keep us from seeing our true worth.
4) Imagine you have two voices inside of you: one is empowering, loving and excited about this new idea; the other one is doubting you, keeping you small and is constantly afraid of everything. Which one are you listening most to? I listened for a long time to the second one. When I started to meditate and observe my mind, I noticed that I don’t have to exhaust myself trying to kill this voice that says I’m not worthy. Instead, I shifted my focus and started to follow the other voice in my actions.
5) So, it all starts with self-awareness. If we are not aware of these parts of ourselves that want to overly protect us from imaginary problems, what can we do? That’s why meditation for me is essential for a courageous life.
6) In moments of doubts, two voices are present. For me as well as for other people, there is this voice always telling me I’m not good enough, I will fail, I should stay in my comfort zone and please others. But there is also this voice that dreams, that knows life is short, that wants to make a difference in this world.
7) In moments of doubts, I consciously decide to listen to the empowering voice and ignore the other one. I then focus on actions, moving forward in whatever way possible towards my dream. This action can be sending this email, booking the ticket, renting the room – anything that commits me and this empowering voice inside of me.
8) The less we focus on the low self worth voice, the more silent it gets. We stop feeding it, so it looses weight 🙂 And consequently, the more we feed the empowering voice, the louder and more normal it gets. It’s about “doing it anyway!” even though fears and doubts are present. Of course there will be moments when we fail, but maybe it’s exactly these experiences that help us grow the most.
9) I remind myself that I deserve a good life. And you do, too! You deserve to live your best life, to love, laugh, enjoy and feel excited. And choosing a life like this involves taking risks, and being courageous. But life will always reward us for choosing the empowering and bold moves. The more we step out of our comfort zones, the more we gain and the easier it gets to live an authentic, empowering, free life.
10) Spending time with people who strengthen this empowering voice inside of ourselves can be very helpful. Communities where we feel comfortable to really being ourselves are a big help. Those can be family, friends or also online communities. We all want to be seen, heard, understand, and loved and having individuals around that give us this has been life-changing for me.
I hope this is helpful for you. I wish you to feel empowered and take courageous moves in your life, because I’m fully convinced that we get rewarded for this. All the best for you!
Sophie
